Used in its normal context, winnow means to separate the chaff from the grain, but there is another meaning of the word, and that is to separate the worthless from the valuable.

 

In this book of journal entries, essays and poems, we embark on one woman's journey that is at first bitter and agonizing. Then, as we travel through her outbursts of disbelief, denial and resentment; while we empathize with her as she delves into childhood memories she'd rather forget, we begin to see how she's learning to move on to build a new life out of the fragments of the old.

 

The Winnowed Woman speaks to those who have faced similar circumstances. It will help them to discover self identity and find inner peace, rather than continue on the soul-destructive wheel of continuous mourning.

This book was first compiled in 2002. Parts of it were written before then and have been incorporated into the work, which although has some basis of truth, is a work of fiction.

Excerpt

What is the Truth?

(Trials of an Ongoing Relationship #3)

Things have become so bad between us again, so soured, I often feel like running away from home. But of course, I can't do that. I can't. I have nowhere to go, no career, no family, no money, no friends to whom I can even bare my shame: because I am ashamed my second marriage isn't working.

So I take the dog through the dense undergrowth of the forest; ferns, lichens and moldering leaves; stumbling, because I can barely walk for the sorrow in my heart.

There is a bluff behind the house, a steep and treacherous tumble of rocks with deer paths in between the twisted roots of trees. The dog leaps ahead, no problem for him. I take a long time to climb and can barely look back; I have no head for heights. But it is a high place I need to go to. I have to look beyond myself for a while to try and get things in perspective.

It is the sweetest of summer mornings. Mists caress the tips of the trees as if loath to leave. Rising from the ground are scents, sensual and earthy. Beyond the deep rich green of Douglas fir and cedar, there is the ocean sparkling like a million darting lights. I can't hear it, but I can imagine the water lapping gently onto island shores. It doesn't change. It is forever. Not like us, who are changing beyond belief.

What is happening? Why is it happening? Have I been living an idiot's dream in a fool's paradise? Weren't we supposed to grow old together?

Now come, take a hold on yourself. It isn't that serious. A lover's quarrel that's all--

A lover's quarrel? When were we lovers last? And a quarrel, when they occur almost daily?

The dog hears me crying and he lies down beside me and shows me doleful eyes. "What are we going to do?" I whisper.

He leans into me, whining softly. He knows something is changing. Animals always know.

"The Winnowed Woman" Copyright © 2007. Celia A. Leaman. All rights reserved by the author. Please do not copy without permission.

Reviews

Winner of the WordWeaving Award for Excellence

Celia Ann Leaman's poignantly powerful voice brings any genre vividly to life whether to she chooses to pen fiction, short stories, or an essay. Yet never has her voice proved as profound as in The Winnowed Woman, a collection of essays, commentary and poetry.

The Winnowed Woman reflects the thoughts and reflections of a woman in her maturity who has come beyond the vanity of youth to confront the challenges of middle age. Through the challenges of divorce, in the face of death and disillusionment, Leaman recounts a spiritual journey of healing that reflects every woman who has struggled and overcome. A powerful and beautifully written book, The Winnowed Woman earns the WordWeaving Award for Excellence.

Reviewed by Cindy Penn, Senior Editor, Wordweaving.com, Amazon top 50 Reviewer and eBook Specialist, Midwest Book Review.  

Rating *****

We all go through life changes during the years and no matter how hard we try, we can’t prevent these changes to dominate and mark our lives and experiences. ‘The Winnowed Woman’ is a collection of essays and poetry that is very helpful to others who seek a spiritual meaning with their lives. It’s a book to give an insight in how to gain your self-esteem and become a stronger person. And you won’t get stronger without having gone through pain. As the author writes: ‘Where there is bad, there is good; when pain is present, there can also be joy; where there is darkness, light is only waiting to be asked in.’

‘The Winnowed Woman’ is not a religious book at all. It’s a wonderful chapbook for everyone to read, enjoy and to learn from.

Reviewed by Simona Nielsen for The Writer's Room Magazine.

"When you are unsure of the future, keep doing what is in front of you, and with love, and what is meant for you will find you." (Gurumayi Chidvilasananda). This is the essence of Celia A. Leaman's masterpiece, The Winnowed Woman, a touching, surprising collection that aim straight at the core of emotions, be they desperate, grievous, fearful or blissful. It shows how softly unfolding spirituality will completely change a woman's life.

Celia A. Leaman keeps surprising me. I knew she could write terrific books - both funny and romantic. With this one she has outdone herself.

Christine Spindler, author of the Inspector Terry Mysteries.

The Winnowed Woman is a true gem! It is a journey through a labyrinth of emotional and physical trials that bring about a deeper sense and understanding of life and the universe.

The Winnowed Woman is about a woman facing crises, losing love and then embracing temporary solitude. It is about one woman's struggle to find herself after years of reliance. It is about pain, fear, hope and the eventual acceptance of loss. But mostly it is about discovery; the discovery of that integral aspect begging for release in each and every one of us: spirituality.

Ms. Leaman has masterfully presented this journey into spiritual awakening. Using a combination of essay, poetry and journaling, the story flows so smoothly that I found it impossible to put down. The author's insight is uncanny, and her word pictures truly stunning.

If you have ever experienced heartache or pain and would like to experience hope, The Winnowed Woman is a book you should not miss!

Reviewed by Maureen McMahon, author of Shadows in the Mist and Return of the Gulls.

This is one of the saddest, yet most hopeful, books I have read. The story is of a journey through the pain of divorce and its aftermath. Anyone who has gone through a similar experience would identify with the characters and benefit by the reading of this book. It shows the light at the end of the tunnel one must pass through in going from being married to being no longer married.

This series of well-written essays detail the emotional upheaval of a broken relationship, the stages of grieving, and coming to terms with being alone, but not unhappily so. The book speaks to the reader of seeking and finding self identity instead of mourning always the loss of being recognized only as an appendage to a mate. It is said, one must learn to stand alone before one can walk. The same is true for becomng a whole person, one must learn to stand alone before one can walk into a relationship and know its limits. Multi-talented author, Celia Leaman, has posted the signs in these essays showing the way to help any reader find that inner peace they seek after divorce.

Reviewed by Anne K. Edwards, author of Journey Into Terror.

The Winnowed Woman isn't an easy book to read. But between elegantly crafted words and beautiful illustrations, it moves back and forth like a weaver, creating a tapestry that is at once glorious and thought provoking.

What makes it so difficult to read is the raw honesty in the words. They leap at you from the pages and make you want to howl in anger and pain. No one should undertake a journey of this sort. No one should shred their skin to let so much light in.

This journey isn't the kind you can read all in one night and sit back feeling fine and happy. It takes time and patience to get through it. Because it reflects pain all of us have felt. It speaks to our souls and we listen.

The author explains the meaning of 'winnowed' to us at the beginning of the book. It was aptly named since it separates the wheat of life and love from the chaff. The Winnowed Woman is every woman's story. Painful, daring, full of heart and sometimes, fear and anger. It shouldn't be missed!

Reviewed by Joyce Lavene. Author, Berkley Prime Crime.